You can't motorboat a personality
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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