I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
