dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize