There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
