Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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