arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
