Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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