these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
