He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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