All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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