Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
