Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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