There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
PANTIES FOUND
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