hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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