I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
