he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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