I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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