Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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