i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize