Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
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Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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