That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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