Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
