it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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