I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
