bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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