I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
