she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
