If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
