i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
