my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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