Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize