I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize