I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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