I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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