Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize