You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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