Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize