Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
