remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Randomize
