now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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