And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
