You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize