Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
