I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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