mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
