I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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