yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
