I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize