I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your cock deserves a montage
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize