I want to make a zoo with you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
