I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
