garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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