I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
try to milk me bitch
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