The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
