Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
