After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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