hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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