Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
