it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
