I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
