I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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